


Devoid Of Feelings And Emotions

by sharkdolphin



Category: Original Work
Genre: Free Verse Poetry, Gen, Internalized Acephobia, Metaphors, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2020-12-22 15:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21079289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkdolphin/pseuds/sharkdolphin
Summary: Navigating puberty while asexual.





	Devoid Of Feelings And Emotions

I would be daydreaming of  
movie afternoons and  
learning your favourite flavour of Ben & Jerry's  
but only when the vicious teacher is away.

When the teacher returns I have to relent  
to doing my homework:

Starting off particularly determined,  
I try to see us sitting on a couch in your living room,  
there's a tension in the air, perhaps, and  
–- what's on TV; a show, movie, or video game?  
You're a child.

Brushing teeth every morning is the perfect revision time  
So trying again, maybe the train carriage is  
crowded and you have no choice but to lean in,  
our elbows brushing and heads tilting and  
\-- the taste buds on our tongues harbour millions of germs.  
You're a fool.

Exams are making me desperate, so okay,  
what if something totally bizarre happened?  
Like I walk into the wrong toilet, and you're there,  
there's a cubicle we could fit into and lock  
\-- why do the ceramic tiles have to be blue squares?  
You're a disgrace.

I got an F grade for my efforts.  
Shameful.

_Lifelong virgin_, it's a fitting name (curse)  
to punish the heartless.

**Author's Note:**

> Found this poem while springcleaning my old documents. I must've wrote it when I was upset, and probably still Figuring Shit Out. 
> 
> It's now 2019. I'm grateful and proud for outgrowing those years and leaving behind those moments of self-loathing. (They were nothing too serious, but some days I remember feeling quite shitty.)
> 
> It gets better, trust me.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
